No Secret is Safe.

Blessing or Burden?

Written with an inkless pen last Wednesday, April 13, 2011 at 11:54 PM

"Every burden is a blessing."

- Walt Kelly

When I was in fifth grade, my teacher asked the class whether we were a burden or a blessing to our family. Most answered blessing. I answered blessing.

...but honestly, I was going to say burden.

I just don't get the quote above. How can you be a blessing when you're a ~~burden~~? When you're the black sheep of.. everything? Most people won't probably think that I'm a burden because of the way I present myself to them--kind, friendly, happy-go-lucky, loyal, and anything good you can ever think of. but that's just it. It only ends there. Whenever I'm at home, I am always involved with the problems. Heck, I think i am even the problem itself. I don't know, it's just that I'm always telling myself to stop being lazy and start working. I always set my priorities beforehand but I end up facing this monitor for the whole day. I always tell myself to change for the better.

I always say it.

but I never do it.

I have this essay in english, our teacher told us to write it so we did. My title was "Actions speak better than words." Since it talks about that, I made up my own story. There was this two fellow men. They were neighbors. They were both rich. They were friends. But this one rich man tend to boast. He bragged about how he helped the poor, he bragged about how richer he got yesterday, he bragged about donating a large amount of money for the charity.

He got a big mouth.

But the people never saw him

give a single coin to anyone.

On the other hand, the other man, who was also rich, did a different thing. He donated money to the poor. And although he wasn't that rich, he still enjoyed his blessings with his friends. he spent time with them and gave them happiness. And in return, He gained happiness for himself.

One day, an owner of a very rich and well-known company came to their place. he was looking for someone who is responsible enough to take over his place someday. (Yes, he was old.) When he met those two rich men. Guess who he picked?

Yes, he picked the one who showed kindness
rather than the one who just said it.

You see, when we say things that regards to helping others,
we should SHOW it

not just say it.

- - -

That is my story,

WHICH IS SO IRONIC.

Because I'm telling myself to show actions and not just speak words, but in reality, I do the opposite. *sigh* Lately, I and my sister are having fights. We've been having a bit of misunderstanding with each other. It's not a physical fight, it's more of uhmm.. talking fight. like, I talk back at her and she talks back too, and then we'll end up silent after that. But later on, we'll talk at each other.

It's regarding my attitude. I've been quite lazy for the past few weeks. I don't know why. We're not THAT rich so I'm not that spoiled but somehow.. I act like one. Spoiled like, I'm here infront of the monitor and they're over there cleaning up the whole house. It's like I'm the princess or something.

BUT I'M NOT.

So yeah, I feel like I'm a burden to my family. I feel like they don't deserve a useless daughter like me. I feel like I shouldn't even exist! But that's way beyond the reason.

But, if my family doesn't have me then they won't have a bubbly yet smart child. Their life without me isn't the same anymore. lol, `just kid. I don't know what'll happen if I'm "gone for good."

Anyway, Youth Camp's tomorrow. And I'm hoping that God will make a change in me. A TOTAL CHANGE, I declare that. and after that I will be able to have the answer to my question.

Am I a blessing or a burden?

...we'll see, won't we?